This post contains affiliate links, including Amazon affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. If you shop through my links, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you.

I’ve been a football coach’s wife for about 20 years.

Which means I have spent A LOT of Friday nights under stadium lights.

I’ve watched my husband coach everything from freshman to varsity football. I’ve watched kids I knew personally grow up through the program. I worked at the same school as my husband for years, so a lot of these weren’t just random names and numbers on jerseys. They were kids I knew and had worked with, which made watching them play even more fun.

I’ve also spent rainy fall nights standing on the sidelines running chains in the mud.

Yes.

I ran chains. In the rain. In the mud.

Coach’s wife duties apparently have a very broad job description.

My husband isn’t the head coach — THANK GOD — but high school football is still a huge commitment. He coaches at a 6A high school, so when football season rolls around, it’s a big deal.

And by “football season,” I don’t mean September through October.

In our house, football season basically starts in June.

That’s when summer training gets going, and from there I pretty much accept that I won’t see much of my husband until early November.

If I’m lucky.

If they make a deep playoff run, all bets are off.

After doing this for two decades, I’ve learned a lot about what football season looks like for a family.

But the biggest change came when we had our son.

Being a Coach’s Wife Before Kids Was Honestly Pretty Nice

For roughly the first decade of my husband’s coaching career, we didn’t have a child.

And honestly?

Football season wasn’t that hard for me.

Yes, my husband was gone constantly. But that also meant I had a lot of time to myself.

I could hang out with friends.

I could read a book.

I could go to the football game if I wanted to.

If I didn’t want to go? I didn’t.

If I went and decided I’d had enough? I could leave.

And dinner could absolutely be a bowl of cereal.

There was nobody else depending on me. I wasn’t coordinating anyone else’s schedule or worrying about whether someone had eaten an actual dinner.

Football consumed a huge amount of my husband’s time, but it didn’t necessarily have to consume mine.

Then we had a kid.

And football season became an entirely different operation.

Football Season With a Baby Was Still Pretty Simple

When our son was a baby, I knew immediately that I wasn’t going to drag a baby to every football game.

Early in the season, when the weather was still decent, I might take him to a game and stay for the first half.

But once those cold, rainy fall nights arrived?

Nope.

I was perfectly happy staying home with a warm baby.

As he got older, though, things became a little more complicated.

Because eventually he wanted to go.

He wanted to see Dad.

He wanted to see people he knew.

One of his best friends is another coach’s kid, so the games became social for him too.

Suddenly I wasn’t deciding whether I felt like going to a football game.

I was figuring out how to get a kid through an entire Friday night at a high school football stadium.

And that requires considerably more planning.

Friday Nights Became a Whole Production

Once our son was old enough to really attend games, Friday afternoons started looking very different.

I’d pick him up from school and immediately start assessing the situation.

What’s the weather going to do?

How cold is it going to get?

Is it going to rain?

What are we eating for dinner?

What does tomorrow look like?

What do I need to bring so that nobody is miserable by halftime?

Because fall football in Oregon can go from perfectly pleasant to cold, wet and miserable very quickly.

The first thing I bought that made a huge difference was a waterproof outdoor blanket.

Football bleachers are always cold.

And if it has been raining, they’re cold and wet.

Having something waterproof to put down or wrap around us became one of those things I wouldn’t want to go without.

Our son also needed actual cold-weather game gear.

A warm jacket that can double as rain protection, gloves, hand warmers, heavy socks and a beanie all became pretty standard.

I also usually keep a spare sweater for him in my bag because apparently I have become the person who travels with backup clothing.

And snacks.

Always snacks.

Feeding a Kid at a Football Stadium Is Its Own Adventure

Dinner is another thing I never really thought about before becoming a mom.

When it was just me, I could figure it out.

Once I had a kid with me for several hours, I actually needed a plan.

In recent years we’ve had food trucks at some of the games, which definitely makes dinner easier.

They’re also expensive, and the lines can get LONG.

So I still like having cash with me in case concessions end up being the better option.

Popcorn and hot dogs are usually reliable choices for kids, and every once in a while there’s Cup Noodles.

A steaming Cup Noodles on a freezing football night?

Basically fine dining.

I also bring snacks because I don’t want our entire nutritional plan for the evening depending on what happens to be available at the stadium.

The Time They Gave the Coaches’ Families the Press Box

One year, our head coach reserved the press box for the coaches’ wives and kids so we could stay warm during the games.

Which sounds AMAZING.

Warm.

Dry.

No freezing metal bleachers.

Except there were a lot of people packed into that press box.

And honestly?

I’d rather sit outside and freeze. 😂

Apparently after all these years, I have developed standards about how I would like to be uncomfortable at a football game.

Give me my waterproof blanket, my warm clothes and a little breathing room.

I’ll take my chances in the stands.

The Most Important Thing I’ve Learned Has Nothing to Do With What I Pack

After 20 years of being married to a football coach, the most important thing I’ve learned isn’t which blanket to buy or how many hand warmers to bring.

It’s this:

It’s okay not to go to every game.

That took me some time to really understand.

I’ve seen other coaches’ wives bring their kids to every game.

Cold games.

Rainy games.

Games when everyone is exhausted.

Sometimes games when the kids aren’t feeling great.

And I understand why.

There’s this feeling that the kids should be there to support Dad. That we’re the coach’s family, so of course we should be in the stands.

And there absolutely is something special about being there.

I love watching my husband coach.

Our son loves seeing his dad on the sidelines.

But at some point I realized that I wasn’t going to drag my kid out into freezing rain for three hours just so he could watch his dad yell at a ref and occasionally wave at us from across the field.

Sorry, Dad. 😂

Supporting Him Doesn’t Mean We Have to Be at Every Game

This became one of my biggest rules for our family during football season.

If the weather is absolutely miserable, we can stay home.

If our son is exhausted, we can stay home.

If we have school, soccer or something else important the next morning and being out late is going to make everyone miserable, we can stay home.

Rest matters too.

Keeping some consistency in our son’s bedtime mattered to me.

Keeping him healthy mattered.

And keeping myself from being completely exhausted by November mattered too.

Because here’s the other part people don’t always see:

My husband didn’t want to finally be home on the weekend after a game and have a sick kid and exhausted wife.

He wanted to spend time with us.

And I wanted us to actually enjoy that time together.

Sometimes the best thing I could do for our family wasn’t sitting in the stands.

It was keeping things running at home.

It’s Easier Now That Our Son Is Older

Now that our son is older, going to games is much easier.

He’s not a baby I’m trying to keep warm.

I don’t have to entertain a little kid through an entire football game.

And honestly, at this point he’s mostly there for the friend aspect anyway.

Which is great.

He gets to hang out with other kids, including his friend whose dad also coaches, while I actually get to watch some football.

But my rules haven’t really changed.

If it’s pouring rain and gross outside, we don’t have to go.

If we’ve got a soccer game or something important the next morning, sometimes staying home is the better choice.

If we’re exhausted, rest wins.

There will be another football game.

What I Actually Bring to Football Games as a Coach’s Wife

After all these years, I keep it pretty simple:

• A waterproof outdoor blanket
• A warm jacket that can handle rain
• Gloves
• Hand warmers
• Heavy socks
• A beanie
• A spare sweater for my son
• Snacks
• Cash for concessions
• A dinner plan

Nothing revolutionary.

Just the things that make sitting outside for several hours during an Oregon fall a little more comfortable.

And after enough cold football games, you learn very quickly which things you actually use.

Twenty Years Later, I Still Love Football Season

Twenty years is a long time to plan your falls around football.

I’ve watched my husband coach different levels and different groups of kids.

I’ve watched kids I knew personally grow up through the program.

I’ve stood on muddy sidelines.

I’ve run chains in the rain.

I’ve eaten plenty of stadium dinners.

I’ve bundled up our son.

I’ve sat through beautiful warm early-season games and absolutely miserable cold ones.

And after all of it, I still love watching my husband do something he genuinely loves.

I love football.

I love the atmosphere.

I love Friday-night lights.

But somewhere along the way, I stopped feeling like I needed to prove that by being at every single game.

Sometimes supporting my husband means sitting in the stands bundled up with our son.

Sometimes it means cheering from the sidelines.

And sometimes it means staying home in our pajamas where it’s warm and getting a good night’s sleep.

Because football is a big part of our family’s life.

But it’s not the only part.

And after 20 years as a football coach’s wife, I think I’ve finally figured out how to love football season without letting it completely run our family.