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Remember when you could just pick out a cute Halloween costume for your kid, put it on them, and everyone was happy?
Yeah.
Those days are OVER.
My son is 10, and this year I learned that Halloween costume shopping is apparently a completely different experience once your kid starts approaching the tween years.
Because suddenly, it’s not just about finding a costume he likes.
It’s about finding a costume that isn’t lame.
And apparently, the definition of lame is extremely complicated.
How complicated?
TWO HOURS IN SPIRIT HALLOWEEN COMPLICATED.
And somehow, after all that, we ended up with a plague doctor carrying katana ninja swords.
I have questions.
When Your Kid Starts Caring What His Friends Think
Last year, when my son was in fourth grade, was the first time he really took charge of picking out his own Halloween costume.
And honestly, it was pretty fun.
He wanted one of those inflatable alien abduction costumes that makes it look like an alien is carrying you away.
He had his heart set on it.
He planned it out, begged for it, and absolutely loved wearing it.
There was no second-guessing.
No worrying about what anyone else thought.
He just wanted to be abducted by an alien.
Which, honestly, seems like a perfectly reasonable Halloween goal.
But this year?
Everything changed.
Suddenly, he wanted to make sure his friends would approve of his costume.
Everything was either too childish, too weird, or too lame.
And I have to admit, hearing him worry about that made me a little sad.
Not because I expected him to let me pick out his costumes forever.
But because it was one of those moments when I could see him becoming more aware of how other people perceive him.
He’s still a kid, but he’s starting to navigate that awkward space between childhood and the teenage years.
And apparently, Halloween costumes are now part of that process.
The Tornado Chaser Costume That Almost Happened
Here’s what makes the whole thing even more frustrating.
My son actually had a really cool costume idea.
He wanted to be a tornado chaser.
Or possibly an actual tornado.
And if you know my son, this makes perfect sense.
He’s been obsessed with tornadoes since he was about four years old.
His current dream job is to become a tornado chaser.
Although this summer he also wanted to become a World Cup soccer star, so we’ll see how long this particular career plan lasts.
But the tornado obsession has been going strong for years.
I was completely on board with the costume.
We talked about getting him a tornado-chaser T-shirt, a model TIV vehicle to carry, and some kind of video camera to complete the look.
I thought it was creative.
It was different.
And most importantly, it was completely HIM.
But he was worried that nobody would understand what he was supposed to be.
And to be fair, some of the actual tornado costumes I found on Amazon were…
Well.
They were SAD.
And WEIRD.
Definitely not what he had in mind.
Still, I hated seeing him second-guess something he genuinely loved because he was worried about how other kids might react.
I tried encouraging him to choose something that made him happy.
But apparently, that is much easier said than done when you’re 10.
Two Hours in Spirit Halloween. TWO HOURS.
Eventually, we headed to Spirit Halloween.
You know, the store whose ENTIRE EXISTENCE is dedicated to selling Halloween costumes?
Surely we’d find something there.
My son was skeptical even before we even walked through the door.
He announced that he probably wouldn’t find anything.
REALLY?
At the HALLOWEEN STORE?
But after spending two hours wandering around, I have to admit something.
He wasn’t entirely wrong.
I was honestly pretty underwhelmed by the selection.
There were plenty of costumes, but once you really looked at the kids’ section, it felt like the same handful of categories over and over.
You had your straight-up horror costumes…..Michael Meyers, Freddy Krueger, Scream, Chucky…..all the big names plus some other horror clowns.
Your silly inflatable costumes, like dinosaurs, bananas, and soccer balls.
Your traditional costumes, like police officers and doctors.
And your usual pop-culture characters, including a few superheroes, Sponge Bob, and Star Wars.
Nothing wrong with any of those options.
But my son wasn’t interested.
He’d already done the inflatable costume thing.
He thought the traditional costumes were lame.
He wasn’t interested in the same characters everyone else wears.
And he didn’t want anything too horror-focused because he attends a private school and wanted something he felt comfortable wearing there.
So we walked.
And looked.
And talked.
And walked some more.
At one point, I suggested we leave and come back another day after he’d had time to think about it.
Nope.
I suggested looking on Amazon.
Also nope.
He wanted to find something that day.
And I was getting SO ANNOYED.
Not because he was intentionally being difficult, but because I could see him struggling to find something he liked while also worrying about what everyone else would think.
I wanted to solve the problem for him.
I wanted to tell him to just pick something and move on.
But eventually, I realized he needed to work through it himself.
Even if that meant I spent the better part of my afternoon wandering around Spirit Halloween.
And Somehow We Ended Up With a Plague Doctor and Ninja Swords
So what did he finally choose?
A plague doctor.
With katana ninja swords.
Yep.
You read that correctly.
A PLAGUE DOCTOR.
WITH NINJA SWORDS.
I have absolutely no idea how we got here.
Apparently, he thought the plague doctor costume looked different enough to be interesting without being too scary.
And since he thinks katana swords look cool, adding those would make the whole costume even better.
Naturally.
Because nothing says medieval plague prevention quite like ninja weaponry.
But you know what?
He was happy.
He’d found something he liked.
He felt good about it.
And after two hours in Spirit Halloween, I was more than ready to call that a victory.
He also picked out a Freddy Krueger sweater to wear to his school classroom Halloween party.
Just the sweater.
No hat.
No glove.
No complete Freddy Krueger costume.
Just the sweater.
At this point, I’ve decided not to ask too many questions.
I’m just happy we have costumes.
The Hardest Part Wasn’t Actually Finding a Costume
Looking back, the most frustrating part of the entire experience wasn’t the two hours in Spirit Halloween.
Although I would very much like those two hours of my life back.
It was watching my son worry about whether other kids would think his costume was cool.
I know that’s a normal part of growing up.
I remember what it felt like to want to fit in.
And I know that as he gets older, his friends’ opinions are going to matter more and more.
But it’s still hard to watch.
Especially when you know your kid has interesting ideas and things he’s genuinely passionate about.
I loved the tornado-chaser costume idea because it was something he came up with based on his own interests.
And part of me wished he’d felt confident enough to go with it.
But I also had to remind myself that this wasn’t my costume.
It was his.
And my job wasn’t to convince him to wear what I thought was cool.
It was to help him find something he felt comfortable and happy wearing.
Even if that something was a plague doctor with ninja swords.
What Halloween Costume Shopping Taught Me About Raising an Almost-Tween
I don’t have some magical parenting lesson to share here.
I’m just a mom who spent two hours in a Halloween store trying to help her kid pick out a costume.
But I did walk away realizing a few things.
First, I can’t make every decision for him anymore.
Not that I should be making all his decisions at 10, but you know what I mean.
There was a time when I could pick out a costume, show it to him, and he’d happily wear it.
Now he has his own opinions.
Strong opinions.
VERY strong opinions.
Second, I can’t just tell him not to care what other people think and expect that to solve everything.
He’s at an age where fitting in matters.
And while I want him to be confident enough to embrace his own interests, I also understand that he’s figuring out how to navigate friendships and social expectations.
And finally, sometimes I just have to let him figure things out.
Even when I’m frustrated.
Even when I think he’s overthinking it.
Even when I desperately want to leave Spirit Halloween.
Because ultimately, he found something he liked.
And that was the goal.
Costume shopping isn’t the only Halloween tradition that’s changing as our son gets older! From pumpkin patches to trying his first haunted corn maze, we’re finding new ways to keep the Halloween magic alive. Read more about our favorite Halloween traditions with a tween and how we’re making new memories while keeping the traditions we love.
Final Thoughts: Let Them Be Weird
If there’s one thing I hope my son takes away from this stage of life, it’s that he doesn’t have to be exactly like everyone else.
He can love tornadoes.
He can dream about chasing storms.
He can want to be a World Cup soccer star.
He can dress as an alien abduction one year and a plague doctor with ninja swords the next.
And he doesn’t have to apologize for any of it.
I know there will be plenty more moments when he worries about what other people think.
And I know I won’t always be able to talk him out of those worries.
But I can keep encouraging him to be himself.
Even when being himself involves a costume combination that makes absolutely no historical sense.
As for me?
I’m just hoping next year’s costume shopping trip takes less than two hours.
Because I don’t think I can survive another afternoon in Spirit Halloween.
Tell me I’m not alone. Has Halloween costume shopping gotten significantly more complicated as your kids have gotten older?
And please, if your kid has ever come home with a costume combination as random as a plague doctor and ninja swords, I need to hear about it.
